| Ahaha. |
[Jul. 3rd, 2004|05:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bizet- Pavoratti- Toreador Song | ] |
Appearently, Rachel, you are my potential romantic interest.
Sevveh, you are my potential ally. |
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| She likes to sleep with the radio on... |
[Jun. 13th, 2004|01:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  liberated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | RENT - La Vie Boheme | ] |
I've realized something when I was in Boston.
I've found out a lot about who I am, just by visiting my old school.
When I was at Boston Latin, I didn't know who I was, what I was doing. I was confused, which is why I spent half of both my first and second year there in a mental hospital. I mean, do you think that's normal? Crying every night, being confused? Sure, I had great friends, and the ones I had there, I still have. And I love them to death.
But I don't need them, or any of my other friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna keep them. Like I said, I love them to death, and it hurts me to fight with them or let them down.
But I am who I am regardless of who my friends are.
I mean, at the Crusaders Exhibition, I saw some old friends I hadn't seen in two years, since I left Colorgaurd. And I realized that I'd survived this long without them. And I was still myself.
And this is what I have discovered:
I am Ellen O'Connell. I am also called Puck. I am strong, slightly overweight. I have curly hair and glasses. I play multiple instruments: Drums, Percussion, Oboe, Viola, Cello, Piano, Trombone, and I also compose. I love all sorts of music, except for rap. Although I do like some rap, I won't lie about that. Beastie Boys, Insane Clown Posse... yeah. Those I like. Sorta rocky-rap. I love musicals, like RENT and Wicked. I also love old movie musicals, especially with Sinatra, like On the Town and Anchors Away. I love talking about movies, and I love doing movie/theatrical makeup. I tend to critique movies, like... a critic. A score also can decide whether I love a movie or hate it.
But I'm not going to lie about what kind of music I like or who I like and what I like (and who and what I don't) to make people happy. They can deal with it, or they can leave.
Same with my political views. I have a tendency to rant and rave about politics, being a Republican as I am. I do enjoy a good political dicussion with friends, whether they share my views or not. But the second someone asks me to change my opinion or attacks me on a personal note, I'm confronting it. I'm not going to go be a 'good friend' and say 'okay'. No. Not any more. I am who I am.
Deal or leave. |
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| BRIGHT PINK FLOURO JACKET! |
[Jun. 1st, 2004|02:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  CORPS CAMP TONIGHT! ^^ Yay. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Steriogram- Walkie Talkie Man | ] |
w00t. Yesterday was fun, went and saw Mean Girls with Dylan. That movie kicked ass, man. Since it was rated PG-13, they weren't afraid to swear. It wasn't like, some, tweenie movie about high school. This stuff was real, man. Girls calling each other whores, backstabbing, stuff that happens in real life. Might I add, Lindsey Lohan, the girl who played Janice, the girl who played Regina, and the girls who played the other two 'Plastics' kicked ass, as well as the kid who was 'too gay to function'. XD That made me laugh. And the teacher-woman looked oddly familliar. And the guy who played the principal was hilarious. As well as the coach in health class.
"If you have sex without protection, you -will- get climidia. And die."
Even though it was a really good movie, some parts got a -little- crazy, like the whole Burn Book scene.
Anyway...
( QUIZZES! ) |
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| You know? |
[May. 23rd, 2004|12:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ranting | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Karl Jenkins- Cantus, Song of the Plains (and dog barking) | ] |
You know what REALLY pisses me off?
( This does. )
( And this. )
Anyway. Today was fun. Went outside, watered plants, got into a water
fight with teh_mom. Anyway. I'm gonna rave silently in bed. The dog is
barking and it's irritating me.
Toodles, Ellen/Puck
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| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2004|02:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  missing the seniors | ] |
| [ | music |
| | All State Music | ] |
Gacked from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tinuvielchild . I love ya'll. Post reply in comments.
</span>
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14.
Do you wish I was cooler? (This is a poxy question. More appropriate,
perhaps: Would you be embarassed introducing me to your friends?)
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?
In other news, the seniors graduated. I cried. I miss them. Especially
Brandon, Lance, Tiana, Trish, Hat, Brandon H, Hope, and Farrah. I just
named half of my friends. Which is sad. But hey. Life goes on. I've
still got Jake, Tony, Marinna, Dan, Mike, Mike 2.0, Dylan, Nikki,
Steffie, Kerry, and Ashley.
Everyone keeps telling me 'you'll see them again' but it won't be the
same. It never will be. It makes me sad. Ah well. Brandon's going to
Stetson, which is only fifteen minutes away. Lance, however, is going
to techie school in NY. Trish is going to NY to become a chef. Tiana is
going off to become a professional dancer. Brandon H is moving to
Nashville and becoming a singer. Hat is going to FSU, so she won't be
far away. Farrah's going alllll the way to Cali for school.
And Hope. My best friend. She's moving to London in a month. And she's
not coming back. She had a fight with her parents. So I either have to
come up with the dough to go to London and visit, or "keep in touch".
*sigh*.
Ah well. Two more classes (a half day on Monday) and then I'm DONE WITH NINTH GRADE.
|
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|
| ... |
[Apr. 11th, 2004|07:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Aerosmith- Cryin' | ] |
I hate myself.
I want to die.
As a matter of fact, I wish I had never been born.
That is all. |
|
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| w00t. |
[Apr. 7th, 2004|07:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
Snatched from tabs_on_it. Whom I don't know personally, I was just looking on kattabean's friends page.
1: grab the book nearest to you. turn to page eighteen, find line four. write down here what it says: a prank on you and switch your tape for another?
2: stretch your left arm out as far as you can. what do you touch first?: Wires.
3: what is the last thing you watched on TV?: What A Girl Wants.
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: 7:20
5: What time is it really? 7:41... wow. 00
6: with the exception of the computer, what can you hear?: A buzzing from somewhere, sounds kinda like a saw. Birds chirping. The wind blowing through the trees.
7: when did you last step outside? what were you doing?: Coming home from my Voice Lesson, getting out of the car.
8: before you came to this website, what did you look at?: An IM from kattabean
9: what are you wearing?: black sweatpants, my black 'I CAN'T... I have rehearsal.' tee shirt, my cross.
10: did you dream last night? what about?: I didn't dream.
11: when did you last laugh? why?: Today, because Tanya chucked a ball of pizza crust wrapped in tinfoil at me and it hit me in the boob.
12: what is on the walls of the room you are in?: Paint. White boring paint.
13: seen anything weird lately?: Yep, a preppy girl with her hair dyed purple.
15: what is the last film you saw?: The Matrix: Revolutions
16: if you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?: A cello of my own.
17: tell me something about you that I don't know: I have an irritating habit of cracking my knees, neck, knuckles, and back.
18: if you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?: Make all drummers into percussionists by teaching them to read melodic mallet music. And make them less of arseholes.
19: do you like to dance?: At times.
20: George Bush: I don't like him, but there are no better candidates.
21: imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: Rose
22: imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: Daniel |
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| Hello there, the angel from my nightmares... |
[Apr. 4th, 2004|11:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed, hurt, and confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Blink 182 - I Miss You | ] |
Well this is just fucking b-e-a-utiful. It's a good thing I'm listening to a calming song right now or I'd fucking go ballistic.
Okay. I innocently IM RC this morning. Here's basically what happened:
puckeatsyou: Guten morgen.
RC Hates You: hi.
puckeatsyou: How would you be?
RC Hates You: just fucking dandy
puckeatsyou: Woah there. What's up?
RC Hates You: My brother trashed the house while we were gone, let's leave it at that.
RC Hates You has signed off.
And so there you have it. She fucking blocked me. She could have just said 'I don't want to talk', but she didn't. She fucking blocked me. After I drove ten hours to go see an Aerosmith concert WITH HER. After I've been there for her, for what, almost two years now?
And now she acts like she fucking hates me.
That really, really hurts me and pisses me off.
And I mean really hurts me. I feel like my best friend has just slammed a door in my face and said "I never want to talk to you again". And believe me, I've had that happen. It hurts. It feels like someone put a fucking pitchfork in your heart, twisted, and tore it out.
Yeah. That's how bad it feels, to me.
Am I that fucking annoying? Am I that fucking stupid? Am I that fucking irritating that when I just ask what's up that I get a fucking door slammed in my face?
You know what?
RC, if you're reading this, don't bother talking to me. At least not for the rest of this week. You may not have meant to hurt me like you did, but you did. And it's kind of hard to take that back.
I think I'm going to go back to bed and try to forget I ever woke up this morning. |
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| w00t. |
[Apr. 1st, 2004|07:31 pm] |
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| FUCK yeah. |
[Mar. 31st, 2004|05:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dire Straits - Sultans of Swing | ] |
|
|
|
| And if it's just that your weak... |
[Mar. 24th, 2004|09:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Matchbox 20 - Black and White People | ] |
Exhausting day, man. Let me lay it out for you, because if I don't, I'll get confused with myself.
( Read more... )
Lemme explain about "Dorothy". I'm not mentioning any names, but I
don't think she plays the part very well. She looks it, but doesn' t
really... get into it. If you ask me, I think the girl who's
playing the Wicked Witch should be Dorothy, and the guy whose playing
the Tin Man should be the Wicked Witch (strange, I know, but he's
AWESOME at it), the Scarecrow and the Lion are PERFECT for their own
roles, and the Oz Gaurd/Uncle Henry should be the Tin Man. The girl who
plays Dorothy isn't really that good. She can't hit high notes all that
well. Her voice is loud, but... so is mine. And so is the Wicked
Witch's. Anyway. That's all for today.
I think I shall hit the sack soon
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| 00; |
[Mar. 21st, 2004|10:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Frightened at Memegen | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Black Sabbath - Electric Funeral | ] |
That's so freaking scary. SO freaking scary. I'm dating my brother, according to this.
00; |
|
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| Quizzes! |
[Mar. 17th, 2004|07:42 pm] |
Trinity is your best friend. She's savvy, suave,
graceful, statuesque, and beautiful... but she
needs some serious chill pills. Maybe you can
convince her that she needs to relax and unwind
quite a bit more. Not to mention smiling will
do wonders for her appearence...
Who Is Your Best Friend in the Matrix?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Willard. you have some problems, but in the
2003 version of the movie, you are just plain
cute. you tend to like rats, and really like
revenge.
Which Willard movie (2003) Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Congrats, you're Scarlet Witch! Whoa, you're an
angry one. It doesn't take much to piss you
off, and when some one aggravates you, they'll
be hexed into next year! You could be pretty...
if you weren't so scary. You have trouble
controlling your anger and have daddy issues to
boot. You think your brother is a traitor and
coward and hate him just as much as your dad.
You're constantly being stalked by a certain
amphibian mutant, and you don't like it. Your
faher locked you up in an institution for a
just reason. To be honest, you're crazy! But we
still love you, so it's okay. Just take a deep
breath and count to ten next time you're mad.
*~*Which X-Men Evolution Villain Are You?*~*
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head... |
[Mar. 17th, 2004|04:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | vaguely sad... | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I Miss You - Blink 182 | ] |
Today was a fairly good day, surprisingly.
But right now (maybe it's the song), I'm not sad, per se, but... I feel sort of this intense sadness deep down... somewhere. Like... I don't feel like sobbing, but maybe letting a single tear run down my cheek.
In music terms, I feel like... a lament, but in a major key. Like a memory. Clement, but with a touch of sadness. Like describing something beautiful that has gone, like love, or a good friend.
Anyway, back to my day.
It started out pretty good, I didn't fall asleep in science, which was cool, because I usually do.
First Aid and Safety we got to black out windows. It was fun. Ruined one of Mr. Jenning's smocks. Fun.
Orchestra was where it got interesting. Ms. Menard was really fustrated after the seventh graders not getting some really easy bowing, appearently. She got a little ticked at the violins for not counting during Lake Brave. She's changed the cello section solo at the beginning into two people- me and David- because the rest of our cellos don't count the eighth notes and rush. But it was all good. After class, I was late packing up because I was running through a sixteenth note rhythm in Terma Russo. I was raving about this guy, Daniel Bukvich, whom I can't decide whether he is a genius or completely nuts, or both. And she says, "A lot of times musical geniuses are both. Not that you have to be nuts to be a musical genius." I agree.
"I actually think you're a musical genius."
"Nah, I just started young."
"A lot of people have started younger than you and not gotten near as far."
I shrug.
"I can so totally see you as one of the great female composers of the twentyfirst century. And I'm not just saying 'Oh, Ellen, you're wonderful, brown-nose, brown-nose, brown-nose...' I totally mean it. You have the talent, you have the personality. You're big things waiting to happen, kiddo. Well, I gotta go eat lunch. See you later." And she leaves for lunch at the Middle School. I shrug and go to my lunch.
Then, during band, Mr. Bradley has me play my mallet solo about four times. After class, he's working on me with sticking, right? And he says, "Just between you and me, I have you play your solos over and over just to see the look on Zac's face. Because that's something that he can't do. He can't play mallets." I knew this already. He may be the best drummer we have but he can't play mallets worth shit. Anyway, that cheered me up.
Wizard of Oz blocking after school. I am a tree. My two friends, Melissa and Dan, are my 'jitterbugs', dancers. They hang around me and sneak around. I have to hold Melissa on my shoulders for a short period of time. And then Brandon (our tin man) has to crash into me. Which is fine. But later, when we're doing the monkey fight, the Scarecrow (Priscilla) has to crash into me too. I'm just an abused, involved tree.
Still melancholy. Oh well...
Voice lessons tonight. Fun!
-Ellen |
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| Quizzes. |
[Mar. 15th, 2004|07:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | A little better.... | ] |
| [ | music |
| | All Your Base Are Belong To Us | ] |
You are Form 5, Dragon: The Weaver.
"And The Dragon seperated the virtuous from
the sinful. He tore his eyes from his sockets
and used them to peer into the souls of those
on trial to make a judgement. He knew that
with endless knowledge came endless
responsibility."
Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
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|
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| Bass Line and the Apocolypse... |
[Mar. 15th, 2004|06:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Big Bad Voodoo Daddy - Mr. Pinstripe Suit | ] |
Well. I've finally done it. Gotten my own Livejournal, I have.
I had today off of school and did a whole freaking lot of nothing. Same as yesterday. So I figure I'll talk about Saturday.
Saturday I wound up at school at 8 AM. Not unusual for me, what with everything that's been going on lately.
We had a gig to do for Drumcorps. Of course, I wasn't at drumline practice on Thursday due to blocking for the Wizard of Oz. But I know the music from last year- I was an alternate for bass line. But anyway. I show up, get my uniform, grab my bass- as usual. Then Matt shows up. He explains the situation- that we were going to switch after Santana and Disco Inferno. He was going to switch to tenors from bass, and I to bass from cymbals. Sammy (our bass line captain) shows up, confirming this. So everything's hunky-dory.
Then Zack and James show up and everything goes to hell.
First of all- James is a fucking senior- meaning he's graduating this year. He's not supposed to be on next year's drumline AT ALL. Plus he has a pair of tenors that he hasn't brought back yet. And now James is playing tenors and won't switch with Matt. And then Zack comes in and says I'm not freaking ON bass line.
Okay. The situation with this is that I talked to Mr. Pace about this. He wanted to take me off at first and then decided against it. But Mr. Pace wasn't there that morning.
So Zack comes in, and gets the entire drumline arguing. So I get upset, and my mom goes into bitch mode on Zack (believe me, it happens often- she hates him as much as I do). I wound up playing fourth bass that morning anyway.
God, I wanted to beat Zack silly. I hate him so much. He's always so fucking sure of stuff that he knows nothing about.
Anyway. I decided that later that day, I'd talk to Pace and Mr. B about bass line, because I hate Zack way too much to be on drumline.
So now I'm back in Pit. Which I don't particularly want to be. But I can't go back to drumline.
Zack is an asshole. He looks like Tojo, you know, the chinese dictator from WWII, only darker skinned and less Japanese. He's a complete asshole and thinks he's better than anyone on drumline. He's the best drummer we have, skill-wise. But attitude-wise, he's a bitch. He treats me like I'm an idiot because I'm not skinny and I'm a little new to the whole corps thing.
So now I'm back where I was last year. And I can't stand Pit. I want to march. I don't want to stand around.
Anyway- I hate Zack. I'd still be on drumline if it wasn't for his asshole-ness.
In short, I'm back on Pit, Zack is a mofo, and Saturday was a bad day. James is a mofo too. But not so much. |
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